Comments: in praise of love

I think that is a very difficult question...I would have to say yes. Definitely yes. What you are saying is true..it seems that love can yield much more pain than happiness, depending on your experiences. However, avoiding pain - avoiding love - is avoiding all that life encompasses. We would not be who we are today if we did not go through extreme pain and extreme joy. Who wants to live life lukewarm? If you do, then why bother falling in love?

Posted by Celena at May 21, 2006 11:39 PM

So we agree that there is a dual nature to love such as a dual-edged sword? I have only ever heard one position with regard to love.... that it should be embraced whole-heartedly. It's true: when it's good, it's never been so good. Everyone should experience such joys. This is the Cinderella love, the happy-ever-after love, the one we see most often in the movies.

The other nature of it is the gaping wound one. Platonic loves tend to fall into this category. Lost loves, lost dreams, and lost relationships go here as well. It is the one that doesn't go well and the room is a complete mess even long after it has left.

Still another is the comfortable love. Don't knock it, it works for a lot of people. You may call it lukewarm but others may call it a slowly smoldering ember. In this case, it is about longevity and going the distance that defines love as opposed to the lightning flashes. All problems and differences between two people are swept-under-the-rug for the sake of not rocking the boat.

Posted by Hoang at May 22, 2006 08:28 AM

If you could fall in love so quickly, then it wouldn't be love but rather infatuation. No two people are truly in love unless they've been through thick and thin together. Real love develops through special moments in your relationship and over time these moments accumulate into something meaningful, something wonderful..a loving bond. But I find that too many people use the word too casually. You can't be in love with another person if you're not willing to die for that person.

For me, I believe it is better to have loved and lost it rather than never have loved at all. To me the journey is what matters, not the ending result. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. But you shouldn't deny or resent what happened. The experience itself is worth all the pain and suffering you are going through.

Posted by Seveneves7 at May 23, 2006 06:51 PM

I agree. That quote "It is better to have loved and lost rather than to never have loved at all" is cliche but true. As far as comfortable love- I agree also. I'm not saying love has to be this passionate soap opera in order to be worthwhile. All I'm saying is real love CAN be comfortable, passionate, and be built on a lifetime of growing and experiencing things together. Yes, and extremes come with the package. Love is not a fairy tale. I believe we go through pain and suffering for a reason. We emerge stronger and hopefully wiser for it. If we don't learn from our pain and mistakes.. then i guess we're in store for more of the same.
I also believe that we must learn to never give up hope on love. No matter how many times it has let us down. If you cannot find love with one, two, three, however many people you've tried to find it with. Then, you just need to keep looking! You can love more than one person in your lifetime. You just need to let yourself do it.

Posted by at May 27, 2006 04:44 PM
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